Dad In-Between

"You treat me like a baby!" Dad emphatically said to Mom when she dropped him off at my house this morning.  She was reviewing instructions with me for getting him on the shuttle to his "job" (adult memory day care) this afternoon.  Usually she does that drop-off on Thursday's but an unexpected appointment with a mechanic to repair her car's radiator switched up her schedule (and mine!).

Dad's outburst  reminded me that he is living in-between too.  Between adulthood and babyhood.  Between who he used to be and who he is becoming.  His outsides look quite healthy for an 83 year old man.  Looking at this picture I took a couple days ago, you wouldn't even know he has Parkinson's, much less Alzheimers.   Mom takes great care of him.  However, on the insides his mind is betraying him. Most times his inner age seems around three or four years old.

Yet, even knowing his brain age is like a pre-schooler, his outburst was still surprising to me.  I forget that he still can have flashes of clarity like he did this morning.  He felt marginalized being talked about, instead of talked with. I get that.  The good news is that he can still FEEL.  That means he can feel the good stuff too.

He's taking a nap right now.  When he awakes I will look for ways for BOTH of us to experience joy in-between. Like we did on Monday . . . savoring the spring sunshine and the lilacs!

Connecting the Dots

"Did you know the Queen of England was married two days ago?"  Dad said to me this morning.  Wow! Really!?

I pieced it together.  He and I are season ticket holders to the Auburn Symphony.  We attended the end-of-season concert yesterday afternoon.  The finale, with the Federal Way Chorale as special guests, was "I was Glad When They Said Unto Me" - - - also called the "Coronation Anthem".  It is a magnificent piece!  Sir Charles Hubert Hastings Parry wrote it for the coronation of Edward VII in 1902.  Apparently it has been played at all subsequent coronations at Westminster Abbey, AND as conductor, Stewart Kershaw brought to our attention,  it was the wedding processional for Kate Middleton and Prince William on 4/29/11 - - - exactly one year ago that day.

Dad's brain connected some of the dots. Royalty.  England.  Wedding.   And, I compulsively corrected him.  However, are the facts really that important to our casual conversation?  Must I set him straight? It's not as if he'll remember for next time! 


I think there's more joy in-between for both of us if I let it go!

Sing!

Dad may not know what day it is, or always remember who I am, but he sure loves to sing.  Tonight after supper I played the piano and we sang some of his favorite hymns - - - When the Roll is Called Up Yonder, Sweet By and By, What a Friend We Have in Jesus, Joy to the World. . .  Even though his voice quavers, he still finds the bass line AND remembers the words.  It grounds him . . . and me! 

Music is powerful, especially for individuals with AD and other dementias.  I discovered on the Alzheimer Foundation website that it is because "rhythmic and other well-rehearsed responses require little to no cognitive or mental processing.  They are influenced by the motor center of the brain that responds directly to auditory rhythmic cues."  http://www.alzfdn.org/EducationandCare/musictherapy.html

I'm looking forward to creating more pockets of joy with my dad through music!

Christmas in April

"Christmas is tomorrow...it's on the 25th of every month.  I want to wish you a Merry Christmas."  Yep, that was the phone message I got from my dad this morning.   Dad's 83.  He has Alzheimer's.  His view of the world made me smile today . . . a crooked smile, but a smile nonetheless.  A bit of joy on a Tuesday.  Thanks, Dad!